This letter was written at a time when my mother who was 54 years old, lived with my Grandfather at a house on 97 Falstaff in Toronto. She found his care a burden at times as well as her job was frustrating her. What follows is her unique solution and observations.
January 19, 1986
My Dear Heather
I am sitting in the Bingo hall waiting for the gambling to commence. There are a multitude of sounds assaulting my ears – small hammers pound in tacks, ladies’ high pitched laughter, men’s lower toned chortles. There is a snack bar here. The Ladies’ Auxiliary makes the food. Home made cakes, tarts, sandwiches, cabby rolls and hot dog. I have already had dinner before I came but have decided already on a hot dog at intermission.
Years ago when my Mother took me to Bingo there were no men. It was a female forte. It still is to some degree for when a man call Bingo, you can usually hear some old timer say “He should be home either watching hockey on TV or the kids.”
I like Bingo. It is a mindless game. I do a lot of serous thinking while plopping down chips on the 20 cards I play. I also like to go to Bingo along. There is no idle chatter at me. I can play in comparative solitude and certain amount of peace prevails. When I go home, winner or not, I always feel better. Weird it may seem. But it must be so for my Dad always seems easier somewhat and I don’t feel as frustrated.
Things around home have been tiring since Dad fell and broke his arm. He was badly shaken and he is 80 years old. He is also in very good shape. He is once again going downtown to his club on Thursdays. Very big step for I feared he would never venture out again and you can just imagine how I was feeling about that.
I am sending resumés out again. The company has become so large they are unable to control what is happening. So off I go to seek my fortune.
Home again. A no win night but I feel very relaxed. Ready to face another week of whatevers. Love Your Mom
Friday, June 4, 2010
Eccentric Marriages
June 14, 1994
Marion Halpenny
Vancouver, B.C.
Hi once again Joss:
I guess I mentioned I come from a long line of eccentric people. My Grandparents (Your Great-Great) were no exception in that department. They did not have what you would call a regular type marriage.
My Gran was his second wife. His first wife died under very suspicious circumstances. Anyway, they had three children who survived, 2 boys (my father being one of the boys) and 1 girl. When my Grandfather immigrated to the U.S. of A my Grandmother was pregnant. The child she was carrying was my Uncle Monty. He was 18 years old before he met his father.
If the truth be known, my Grandfather was advised to immigrate lest something ugly happen to him. He was endeavoring to form the Bakers’ Union of Scotland. (and not too well received.) So in early 1910 he sailed for the new land and ended up in Boston, Mass where he was one of the founding fathers of the Bakers’ Union of America some years later.
In all fairness to my Grandfather, he sent their fares on at least three occasions. My Grandmother said ‘the time was not right’ and promptly spent the money.
She finally did immigrate in 1928 (at her own expense) but not to Boston. She came to Canada – Toronto, Canada. So at least now they both on the same side of the ocean. About a year after coming to Canada my Grandmother took her vacation and boarded a bus for Boston. It must have been agreeable, for every year thereafter she took off for Boston and stayed with my Grandfather. This arrangement changed when both retired from the work force. My Grandfather moved to New Britain Conn., where my Grandmother lived with him for six months and then back to Toronto for six months.
When he was about 92 years old he slipped out one day on my Grandmother and called my parents’ home in Toronto. It seems he had enough of life and figured it was time to go on to that big bakery in the sky. Seems my Grandmother objected to his wish. She would poke him during the night to see if he was still alive. My oldest brother Peter drove down to New Britain and brought my Grandmother back to Toronto. (She was not amused and I was just glad I was not party to that 24 hour ordeal back and forth.) They received a phone call one week later to say my Grandfather had got his wish – he had died.
My Grandmother, only being in her late 70’s, early 80’s and having a bit of the wanderlust, then went to Rochester, New York for sic months to live with my cousin Eileen. This arrangement was also a tad odd. For my Gran and my Cousin never liked one another as far as I could ever establish. My Gran being an Orange Presbyterian and Eileen a Roman Catholic – Sorry. I do leap ahead of myself. This is for another time.
Back to Grandfather. He lived for over fifty years in the States and never became a citizen. He came to Canada once and was so afraid to cross the border, no amount of pleading could entice him to do so again.
He was a tall man and very handsome according to my Gran. With all due respect to him, I have wondered what he did for female companionship for 50 weeks a year. But that’s only conjecture on my part knowing how fond of women all my brothers were. Hence several multiple marriages.
The things I have written to you about are only a small portion of the gaga yet to come. I do hope you find them of some interest.
Love your grandma
Marion Halpenny
Vancouver, B.C.
Hi once again Joss:
I guess I mentioned I come from a long line of eccentric people. My Grandparents (Your Great-Great) were no exception in that department. They did not have what you would call a regular type marriage.
My Gran was his second wife. His first wife died under very suspicious circumstances. Anyway, they had three children who survived, 2 boys (my father being one of the boys) and 1 girl. When my Grandfather immigrated to the U.S. of A my Grandmother was pregnant. The child she was carrying was my Uncle Monty. He was 18 years old before he met his father.
If the truth be known, my Grandfather was advised to immigrate lest something ugly happen to him. He was endeavoring to form the Bakers’ Union of Scotland. (and not too well received.) So in early 1910 he sailed for the new land and ended up in Boston, Mass where he was one of the founding fathers of the Bakers’ Union of America some years later.
In all fairness to my Grandfather, he sent their fares on at least three occasions. My Grandmother said ‘the time was not right’ and promptly spent the money.
She finally did immigrate in 1928 (at her own expense) but not to Boston. She came to Canada – Toronto, Canada. So at least now they both on the same side of the ocean. About a year after coming to Canada my Grandmother took her vacation and boarded a bus for Boston. It must have been agreeable, for every year thereafter she took off for Boston and stayed with my Grandfather. This arrangement changed when both retired from the work force. My Grandfather moved to New Britain Conn., where my Grandmother lived with him for six months and then back to Toronto for six months.
When he was about 92 years old he slipped out one day on my Grandmother and called my parents’ home in Toronto. It seems he had enough of life and figured it was time to go on to that big bakery in the sky. Seems my Grandmother objected to his wish. She would poke him during the night to see if he was still alive. My oldest brother Peter drove down to New Britain and brought my Grandmother back to Toronto. (She was not amused and I was just glad I was not party to that 24 hour ordeal back and forth.) They received a phone call one week later to say my Grandfather had got his wish – he had died.
My Grandmother, only being in her late 70’s, early 80’s and having a bit of the wanderlust, then went to Rochester, New York for sic months to live with my cousin Eileen. This arrangement was also a tad odd. For my Gran and my Cousin never liked one another as far as I could ever establish. My Gran being an Orange Presbyterian and Eileen a Roman Catholic – Sorry. I do leap ahead of myself. This is for another time.
Back to Grandfather. He lived for over fifty years in the States and never became a citizen. He came to Canada once and was so afraid to cross the border, no amount of pleading could entice him to do so again.
He was a tall man and very handsome according to my Gran. With all due respect to him, I have wondered what he did for female companionship for 50 weeks a year. But that’s only conjecture on my part knowing how fond of women all my brothers were. Hence several multiple marriages.
The things I have written to you about are only a small portion of the gaga yet to come. I do hope you find them of some interest.
Love your grandma
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